The sleaziness of cocktail culture is gross

If you’ve been active on the internet, you’ll have seen this quote in the MEN from one Micheal O’Hare, a Michelin starred chef who’s set to be opening three restaurants in Manchester with Ryan Giggs and Gary Neville.

Now, the instinctive response is to get angry, throw insults about and try to bring down a man who just insulted an entire industry. A man who has said: “I’d rather say what I think and have people not like it – I absolutely don’t give a shit”, because he’s ‘ard.

A man who, when talking about opening an Asian restaurant without ever having been to Asia, said: “It would be worse if we’d actually been. If we went to Japan for two weeks and came back with all these ideas – what you’re saying is, in those two weeks I think I’ve got what it takes to set up a restaurant based on that food” – as opposed to never setting foot there and thinking you’ve got what it takes to open a restaurant based on that food. We will say that a lot of people do things based on a culture without ever experiencing that culture and have done successful things before – we can make pretty decent daiquiris and we’ve never been to Cuba – but how would experiencing Cuba make our daiquiris worse? Any reasonable explanation is appreciated.

The instinctive response is for us to get on our high horse and absolutely slam the shit out of a man who said “I don’t want to hear a [cocktail] shaker – it’s the most disgusting noise in the world. I don’t want some barman looking down your top…the sleaziness of cocktail culture is gross” despite opening a restaurant with a man who was banging his own brother’s wife for years. (We know we need to stay mature here, but one of us once broke up with an ex-girlfriend via text at 2am in the morning because we knew they’d be asleep, so you do the math on the probability of that happening).

We could talk about the more sensitive side of a man who said “I’m not lacking in self-confidence, but no one wants to be hated – you question yourself, and whether you’re a bad person.”  He just wants to be loved whilst simultaneously not caring what anyone thinks of him. We’ve all be there, folks, lighten up.

We could question his way to deal with “sleazy barmen”, by ensuring all of his drinks “will be pre-made each day, to ensure each one is up to O’Hare’s standards”. Who’s going to serve those cocktails, oops we mean drinks? Who’s designed them? Are stirred down drinks included in his hatred of cocktails? Is it just the sound of ice that he hates? Did he have an incident in a freezer when he was a child? Did he have a bad incident with a bartender in the past?

We know you’re angry with him. We know how much you wish you could just shout out all of the words you want him to hear and tell him of how much he reminds you of Boris Johnson. We know how much you want to let him know that being a ‘rebel for the sake of it’ is just the attention seeking cry of a lost infant that thinks they can get higher in life by bullying others and belittling others because they “say what everyone else is thinking”, so other more successful idiots will latch on to them because they admire their idiotic spunk and drive.

We understand that you’re angry at a man who is insulting an industry that normally works side by side with his chosen profession, we know how much you can’t stand him and how badly you want his restaurants to fail. Unfortunately, this is how newspapers get people to read what they put in their articles. This is how morally correct chefs and football players market their restaurants and businesses. If he hadn’t have said anything about what he thinks of the cocktail culture – no matter how backwards and inconceivable it may be – then no-one would even know he was bringing his weird face to Manchester.

Micheal O’Hare, if you ever read this: We’re not angry with you. We’re just disappointed. Bartenders and chefs are supposed to get along and unite against the common enemy: the serving staff and vegans, instead of hating on each other. You’ve let the side down and you’ve let your profession down. Fortunately, bartenders don’t think like you and they know that it’s your opinion, and not that of chefs everywhere, otherwise they’re going to have to make their morning coffees themselves from now on.

Now if you’ll excuse us, there’s a tasty looking female over there, and we need to put a napkin down to contain our drool.

@CheapestShot

IMG: gazettelive.co.uk

 

 

 

 

 

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