Once again we’ve delved into the pit of oblivion and picked out and picked apart some of the most confusing and classic examples of TripAdvisor reviews:
We’re starting off strong here, with the best example of why TripAdvisor is such a shit hole:
“We didn’t complain, so they had no idea anything was wrong, but despite this they didn’t even give us that coveted discount that such an acclaimed food reviewer such as myself should be granted”.
The guy whose entire evening was ruined by a kitchen closing:
“It was great, but the kitchen closed at a time that I personally wouldn’t have chosen and OH MY GOD MY NIGHT HAS BEEN RUINED WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY GRANDKIDS NOW?”
The man who has incredible business acumen:
Apparently, the lesson learnt here is not one about the drastic inequalities between the tax that supermarkets and bars pay and the way in which GP is calculated, but that’s ok: TripAdvisor don’t care.
A very serious reminder that people don’t like it when bars close:
“We didn’t drink our beer quick enough and the place closed and we had to leave. TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT.”
This women tried to fit her entire review into the title and just confused everyone:
“short skirts long hair m’hormones flying everywhere”
This review creates more questions than anything else we’ve ever read:
Whose chicken wings were they? Did you try the food? Why wasn’t it good value for money? What about the service didn’t you like? Again WHOSE CHICKEN WINGS WERE THEY???
Cool Story, Bro:
“Couldn’t be bothered complaining because what would that achieve? Best just to write a shitty TripAdvisor review and have people take my word for it. Yeah, that’s the best course of action.”
This review is actually real:
“We left without paying”. That’s THEFT you inconceivable prick. Actual fucking theft. Who gives a shit if there wasn’t any bottled tonic. Your night must have been fucking off the rails for you to write a TripAdvisor review whilst having that great drink of yours… and breathe.
P.S It’s Tib Street Tavern, not Tin. You dick.
You know when you read something and you’re not quite sure what you’ve just read?
Although, “the false song a long” might be our new favourite way to complain about music.
Fair play, don’t do appraisals in front of customers:
But don’t then say you’re complaining direct to the company AFTER you’ve written a TripAdvisor review AFTER you’ve left the venue, you over privileged rodents.
Starting to get tired of TripAdvisor:
You know when there are offers that no-one tells you about, and then when you don’t get the offers that no-one’s told you about… it usually means there aren’t any offers…
I think the problem might be with you.
Finally, this one that actually made us laugh:
It’s just so emotional and proper. Like their dreams have been crushed into a tiny ball, released into a tiger enclosure and are now being used as tiny humping posts.
If you’re thinking about leaving a TripAdvisor review on an establishment then first think about these key things:
- Does the world need to know?
- Have I gathered my thoughts?
- Am I an arsehole?
- What am I hoping to gain from this?
- Is there any truth in this?
- Am I an arsehole?
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