- Ask What it’s About.
- Do a Terrible Scottish Accent.
- Say Hello to Your Scottish Friend Whom You Haven’t Spoken to Since Last Year’s Burns Night.
- Say Happy Birthday to Your Scottish Mate For The Lolz.
- Tell Everyone You’ve Tried Haggis.
- Tell Everyone You Had Haggis Before it Got Popular.
- Realise Haggis Was Never Popular.
- Tell Everyone How Much Whiskey You’ve Drank.
- Actually Drink Whiskey and Hate it.
- Tell Everyone You Love Whiskey.
- Drink Jameson Because You Don’t Realise.
- Post a Picture of a Bottle of Jack Daniel’s With The Caption: “Burns Night Done Right”.
- Post a Picture of a Fight With The Caption: “Burns Night in Glasgow”.
- Post a Picture of a Fire With The Caption: “Third Degree Burns Night”.
- Post a Picture of Mr Burns From The Simpsons With The Caption: “Mr Burns Night”.
- Google The Fuck Out of Burns Night so Your Friends Think You’re Cultured.
- Tell Everyone You Know That He Wrote “Auld Lang Syne”.
- Label Anything You’re Doing as Celebrating Burns Night, Even If It’s Just Washing The Dog.
- Tell Facebook “This is How I’m Spending My Burns Night” With a Bunch Of ‘See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil’ Monkey Emoticons For No Reason.
- Tell Everyone It’s Pronounced “Rabby” And Accidentally Get An Old Person To Say “Rabbi”.
- Read A List Of Things You Can Do Because You Genuinely Want The World to Know You Are Doing Something For Burns Night.
- Write A List Of Things To Do On Burns Night Because You Want People To Think You Know About It.