22 Things You Can Do On Burns Night

  1. Ask What it’s About.
  2. Do a Terrible Scottish Accent.
  3. Say Hello to Your Scottish Friend Whom You Haven’t Spoken to Since Last Year’s Burns Night.
  4. Say Happy Birthday to Your Scottish Mate For The Lolz.
  5. Tell Everyone You’ve Tried Haggis.
  6. Tell Everyone You Had Haggis Before it Got Popular.
  7. Realise Haggis Was Never Popular.
  8. Tell Everyone How Much Whiskey You’ve Drank.
  9. Actually Drink Whiskey and Hate it.
  10. Tell Everyone You Love Whiskey.
  11. Drink Jameson Because You Don’t Realise.
  12. Post a Picture of a Bottle of Jack Daniel’s With The Caption: “Burns Night Done Right”.
  13. Post a Picture of a Fight With The Caption: “Burns Night in Glasgow”.
  14. Post a Picture of a Fire With The Caption: “Third Degree Burns Night”.
  15. Post a Picture of Mr Burns From The Simpsons With The Caption: “Mr Burns Night”.
  16. Google The Fuck Out of Burns Night so Your Friends Think You’re Cultured.
  17. Tell Everyone You Know That He Wrote “Auld Lang Syne”.
  18. Label Anything You’re Doing as Celebrating Burns Night, Even If It’s Just Washing The Dog.
  19. Tell Facebook “This is How I’m Spending My Burns Night” With a Bunch Of ‘See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil’ Monkey Emoticons For No Reason.
  20. Tell Everyone It’s Pronounced “Rabby” And Accidentally Get An Old Person To Say “Rabbi”.
  21. Read A List Of Things You Can Do Because You Genuinely Want The World to Know You Are Doing Something For Burns Night.
  22. Write A List Of Things To Do On Burns Night Because You Want People To Think You Know About It.




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